I’ve been using YNAB for years now (and J does too), and what’s made a HUGE difference for me was money in categories. Instead of seeing $3,000 in my bank account, I see that I have $300 allocated for groceries and don’t overdo it on the fancy cheeses every time I go to the store.
This works well with most categories – groceries, household goods, gas, utilities. Typically I spend about the same amount per month in each of these categories.
For some categories like car insurance, I allocate money each month and pull the money out twice a year when the payments are due.
I have noticed an issue with other categories, though, and maybe you have, too.